Tell Me What To Do

The Mastermind Group I’m in is comprised of 4 entrepreneurial women. We’ve all started two or more businesses. We’re fairly strong personalities. We would all identify as feminist and tend to have a healthy amount of confidence. I say this so the following sentiment is kept in context.

We want to be told what to do. Keep your mind out of the Fifty Shades gutter… not like that. There are parts of each of our businesses that we genuinely just want some expert to tell us what to do because we really, honestly can’t decide. Sometimes it’s a pricing issue. Sometimes it’s a marketing conundrum. Often we can rely on one another for this, but sometimes we’re all stymied.

I’m guessing you’ve hit moments like this in your practice. Times when you’ve thought and over-thought so much that your choices feel all jumbled and their outcomes confused. Times when you’re in over your head with something that isn’t your strong suit and makes your IQ plummet just to learn about (i.e. my relationship with what I consider advanced technology). Yay, welcome to the club!

I’m a Myers Briggs “J” to a tee. I usually decide quickly and easily. When I can’t make a decision I am anxious. I really really hate it. So wanting to be told what to do doesn’t come up for me often but when it has, I’ve felt immediately soothed by my business consultant saying “This is what you do. This is how you do it. This is when it should be done by.” An assignment! Goody!

Those of you who aren’t quite as eager to do what you’re told may think you want to be told what to do and then rebel. You get told to do ABC and you are certain that XYZ is a better choice. Awesome! Being told what to do provided clarity about what you really want!

Here’s the thing: There’s no shame in wanting someone to give you direction. You’re still self-actualized. You’re still the boss. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel if someone else has done the research. Plus, you can try one way, theirs or yours, for a little while and change it up if it isn’t for you. Or you can flirt with the suggestion given without having to marry it.

Obviously, there’s no one answer that’s going to work for everyone. People’s individual needs and struggles are as different as they are. Blanket advice, including the advice you read from me, is dangerous if you don’t run it through your personal sense of ethics, willingness or ability to comply, energy level, time availability, motivation for change, etc.

So, if you hit that wall and want some answers, let me know. I’ll run some by you and you can see if they’re a fit. Don’t try to do this stuff in a bubble, build community, find a mentor (paid or not, me or not) and know that we all want someone else to take the responsibility of making every single decision off of our shoulders sometimes. Even control freaks like me.

Have you been there? What has helped? Let us know in the comments.

Allison Puryear is an LCSW with a nearly diagnosable obsession with business development. She has started practices in three different states and wants you to know that building a private practice is shockingly doable when you have a plan and support. After retiring her individual consultation services, she opened the Abundance Party, where you can get practice-building help for the cost of a copay. You can download a free private practice checklist to make sure you have your ducks in a row, get weekly private practice tips, listen to the podcast, hop into the free Facebook Group. Allison is all about helping you gain the confidence and tools you need to succeed.

Jun 20, 2016 06:00am

By Allison Puryear

Under Mindset, Nuts & Bolts, balance, counseling, entrepreneur, Private Practice, psychologist, Self-care & therapy

4 min read

Tell Me What To Do

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