Giving Others Praise

There’s this house I love that had pigeons living in it. It was a few blocks from my office, this gorgeous, great-bones, hulking house that would be perfect for a bunch of therapists to have practices in. The pigeons had nested inside. The porch was falling apart. I researched who the owners were and fantasized a scenario where I call them, buy the property, fix it up and it serves as an amazing office space for myself and my best therapist buddies, a healing space for clients who feel heard and seen and appreciate this 1920’s beauty and the beautiful remodel.

Even though it's a pigeon hotel, it still had such potential and beauty. Under all the feathers and poop.

I took a walk past it with a friend who had rehabbed several homes in the area. I pointed it out excitedly. “That place?” she asked. “Yeah, I see the potential, but that’s a least a $500,000 remodel.” Ooph. Nevermind. I clearly watched too much Fixer Upper.

A few months later a “for sale” sign went up. I ran back to my office to look it up online. I was guessing about $120,000 since that thing had freaking pigeons living in it. Nope, on the market for $350,000, as is. Can I restate that it was literally falling apart?

Someone saw the beauty and potential. They bought it.

It’s breathtaking now. Better than I imagined it could be. And since I circle the 'hood about a million times a week, I hope to catch the owners getting out of their car and tell them just that. That they made something with great potential truly dreamy.

Which made me think about how many opportunities I have to give praise in my life.

My good friend, Jamie Brazell, recently asked me to do a character rec for her AASECT application. I’ve referred a ton of my clients to her for couples work. I’ve pointed individuals in her direction who needed sex therapy or a kink aware therapist or someone well-versed in polyamory. She frequently speaks or is on panels at Vino & Vulvas events (best name ever, right?) which is bringing some of these conversations to our community. I’ve heard incredible things about her work from clients and I sometimes forget to pass that on. This form allowed me some space to gush about the good she has done for clients I care about, referrals who need help, and my community at large. So gush I did.

My close friend Jane Carter, who Joe Sanok & I love teaming up with for Brew Your Practice each fall, has been there with me since the early days of Abundance. We’ve exchanged business advice, tears, spa days, way more laughs than I could ever count, and while I think about how much I love her frequently, I don’t always tell her. She “gets” me and always knows the more balanced approach I need to hear.

What we do as therapists is hard. What we do as entrepreneurs is hard.

Most of us need more encouragement, kudos, appreciation, and admiration than we get. We have the opportunity to make it a little easier for one another. Many of us have naysayers in our lives telling us is can’t be done. Many of us struggle with imposter syndrome.

We need good people to help us balance it out and it’s so helpful when those people to let us know that they appreciate us.  So rather than focusing on tasks and next steps in your practice, I’d love for you to just stop for a second and think about the positive influences around you. Ground yourself into how great it is to have these people in your life, live and in the flesh or virtually and digitally. A phone call can be just as uplifting as a hug.

This week, I’m encouraging you to please be generous.

Start with telling some of your therapist friends or private practice comrades what you admire about them. Feel free to make it public in the free Abundance Practice Builders Facebook Group. Take a break to spread a little love this week.


Who do you appreciate and why? Let us know in the comments.

Allison Puryear is an LCSW with a nearly diagnosable obsession with business development. She has started practices in three different states and wants you to know that building a private practice is shockingly doable when you have a plan and support. You can download a free private practice checklist to make sure you have your ducks in a row, get weekly private practice tips, listen to the podcast, hop into the free Facebook Group, and get help from Allison and a small group of new, close friends in Abundance Practice-Building Group. Allison is all about helping you gaining the confidence and tools you need to succeed.


1 comment

Allison Puryear

:) Thanks, Melissa!
Read more
Read less